Coffee Contemplation about Compassion
A blank page and a cup of coffee, a little rain falling outside, what could be better? This is my dream and I’m living it, loved and supported by a man who claims I saved his life. That part of the fantasy seems written in for hyperbole but it is as true as the rest…my life is blessed and I cannot complain!
Now, the daunting task, what does one do with the perfect day, the now perfect life?
I want to sit here with you and share what I have learned…at least a little of what I’ve got!
I have changed; even my mousey alter ego isn’t as mousey as before. I walk with a newfound confidence that is brought on by the compassion of understanding that we are all scarred and are all scared. The “worst” in us is the manifestation of our insecurities. What bothers us about others is what we dislike the most about ourselves. Everyone has an inner five year old throwing a temper-tantrum on occasion.
Compassion is the missing ingredient in so many; and without it, there can be no empathy!
I genuinely don’t understand how compassion gets left out of the make-up of so many people’s facade. I can only imagine it is a lost skillset that without practice becomes less possible to perform.
So I urge all those on their pathway to becoming Super, practice your compassion daily, try to embrace a little empathy whenever and wherever possible.
How does one practice compassion, you may ask.
I believe it begins with searching for similarities rather than differences. As you encounter others for the first time, ask yourself, do you look for what is similar between you or what is different? Embrace the similarities! Recognize that differences are only important when they are truly important.
As we find similarities though, we must understand that people we encounter are mirrors for our true selves. What we see is a rough reflection of ourselves more than any truth about them. Especially in the beginning when we are making our first and longest lasting impression.
So try to understand that what bothers you the most about a newfound personality is most likely not anything about them, but something about you. What about you does this new person reflect back to you, and are you comfortable with it? If you are not comfortable, then there will be friction; if you are comfortable, then you will most likely have a harmonious encounter. And isn’t that what we are all searching for, on some level? Harmony.
When not comfortable, there are so many more options in life than childishly creating friction.
What about that person reflects poorly back on you?
Start by having compassion for yourself; then, have compassion for the other. It is truly that simple. Practice personal compassion until you can exhibit it for another. Once this comes easily, you will be amazed at how much less friction is felt by those that used to “drive you crazy.” I am not suggesting you will suddenly be friends with everyone, simply not be down-right annoyed by and therefore disharmonious with as many as before.
It takes inner work; something we can all benefit from.
Did your inner five year old just jump up and down and say, No?
If you believe it is not worth the energy to look inward; that, annoying people can just be ignored or avoided, then you yourself are actually the problem. We can all work a little bit harder to be a little bit better, one step at a time.
So the next time you are annoyed by someone, ask yourself, what about them mirrors back something you don’t like about yourself? Think long and hard until it becomes an easy exercise, then embrace your self lovingly and practice self-compassion. As that becomes easier you’ll realize you are already practicing it on others, because, let’s admit it; you’re becoming Super!
People’s worst behavior, I believe, manifests from their deepest insecurities. Recognizing this in others will help you recognize it in yourself. As you practice compassion for others, begin to damper your own insecurities to lesson your chances of annoying others. Because, we must be able to admit, this paradigm works both ways.
When we are the most annoying to others, we are most likely reflecting poorly on them and their insecurities. Recognizing this can be empowering even if you cannot change the reality. Sometimes recognizing this allows you to lesson the annoyance enough to create harmony, though. And isn’t that the goal in all interactions?
If not, at least you can objectively recognize and separate yourself emotionally from the insecurities and disharmony being created.
That’s what today’s cup of coffee has motivated me to share. The little bit of rain that was falling has now stopped and the man that I love so much is again available for me to share my musings with personally. The cats are hungrily crying in the background, so attention must turn.
Enjoy your day; go kindly and be super!